Tough customers can be exasperating! Some have a way of getting on your last nerve. After dealing with a steady stream of demanding customers, you may secretly (or not so secretly) want to throw your hands up, look for a new job, and hang a sign on your door that reads, “Do I look like a people person?”

Underneath frustration there’s usually a fear at work. You may experience:

• Fear of conflict
• Fear of losing the customer
• Fear that a poor customer interaction will affect your next performance review
• Fear that a customer’s complaint will go viral and have a negative impact on company sales
• Fear of failure

Psychologists tell us that fear causes people to freeze, flee, or fight. In a customer service situation none of those choices will do. So how do you manage fear effectively? The key is to recognize what type of fear you’re experiencing.

Fear can be an indicator that you are about to do something that is important

When you were a small child you experienced fear after something bad happened.

• You fell off your bike and skinned your knee.
• You touched a hot stove and burned your finger.
• You approached a strange dog and got bit.

As a child you learned that FEAR = DANGER. Fear became an indicator that danger was close at hand. However, fear doesn’t always equal danger. You probably felt fear when:

• You stood up to give your first speech in front of a room full of people
• You went on a job interview or asked for a raise
• You asked someone you were attracted to for a date

Fear can be an indicator that you are about to do something that is important to you and you’re stretching into unfamiliar territory. In other words, FEAR = GROWTH.

The problem is this: Fear that leads to growth can feel just like the fear that you feel when you are in danger. When your danger signals flash, you’re ability to remain resourceful goes right out the window. So, what can you do?

When I feel fear, I find it helpful to ask myself, “Is this a fear that leads to danger or a fear that leads to growth?”

In a customer service situation:

• Conflict is not dangerous. It offers you an opportunity to GROW your conflict resolution skills.
• Angry customers aren’t dangerous. They offer you an opportunity to GROW more skillful at mood management and compassionate listening.
• Complainers aren’t dangerous. They offer you the opportunity to GROW more responsive so you can make changes that will satisfy the complaining customer and the many silent customers that would move on to your competitors without telling you why.

For me, reading audience evaluation forms is not dangerous, though from the way I avoid reading them you’d think a bad review might kill me! The truth is, audience evaluation forms offer me insights into my customer’s perceptions, so I can GROW more masterful as a presenter.

The next time you’re dealing with a challenging service situation, notice how you feel. When you’re tempted to fight, freeze or run screaming from the room, ask yourself a question: “Is this fear that leads to danger or fear that leads to growth?” When you are able to identify your fear as “fear = growth,” the fear channels into energy you can use to gain access to your inner resources, giving you the freedom to more easily manage challenging customers and service situations.

What do you think? How do you manage your emotions when dealing with tough customer service situations?

Written by Marilyn Suttle at www.whosyourgladys.com

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